W. Kamau Bell
Animation by Megan Easterling
W. Kamau Bell kicked off his stand-up tour, Who’s With Me?, at the Kennedy Center in D.C. in February—and now he’s bringing the laughs to Durham at The Carolina Theatre! You probably know him as the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning host of CNN’s United Shades of America, or maybe you caught him recently crushing it on Celebrity Jeopardy! (yes, he won it all!). We had to chat!
Kamau, you’ve been fighting the machine forever. Looking back—who’s winning: the people or the machine?
Haha. The people haven’t been defeated yet. So I’d say the machine wants us to be utterly defeated, but we’re not easy to beat. That doesn’t mean we’re not taking losses. The machine wants total defeat and total obedience. And we’re not giving them that. I’d say we’re currently winning.
If democracy means “rule by the people,” but most people are too busy or too jaded to vote—who’s really ruling?
Democracy sounds great, but it’s really about how it’s practiced. And in America, we’ve never done a great job of putting democracy into practice—even on our best day. We started with two massive violent crimes: the trans-Atlantic slave trade and the genocide of Native Americans. Then we had Chinese people building railroads for free. It’s been a lot. And we’ve been terrible neighbors to Mexico.
So yeah—we’ve never done democracy the way the Greeks envisioned it when they came up with the idea. I think there are a lot of things we could do to make this democracy thing real. But right now, this country is run—and probably always has been—by the richest people. And they’ve gotten so rich that it’s easy for them to keep running it.
Zohran Kwame Mamdani: NYC mayoral hopeful, policy poet, and frequently compared to Fiorello LaGuardia. Too good to be true—or just the reboot we didn’t know we needed?
My best friend Hari Kondabolu has known him since college. He apparently recommended Zohran to Bowdoin, where he went. If Hari supports him, I’d say no, he’s not too good to be true.
That said, I’ve been saying this for years: the worst job in the world is being mayor of NYC. It sounds powerful, but it’s really not. That’s true for mayors of any big city. Mayors of smaller cities actually have more power. In big cities, there’s so much bureaucracy, so many entrenched interests—people who had jobs before you and will have them after you—that it’s hard to get anything done.
I’m speaking from Oakland, California, where it’s actually pretty similar. Zohran will have to get the individual layers of governance on his side—and that’s a lot in New York.
Aliens haven’t contacted us. Is it because they’re avoiding us—or watching us like a reality show gone too far?
I think it was comedian Bill Hicks who said maybe we’re the Alabama of the Universe. Haha. Imagine you’re some advanced lifeform traveling across galaxies, and you pull into this solar system like a parking spot… and you see what’s going on here and go, “Eh, nah, not this one.” Haha. Could be that aliens are like that—“Not here. Nope.”
Jeff Bezos asks you to officiate his wedding. What’s your opening line?
No. No. NOOOOO! ...Okay, wait—has the check cleared yet?? I’m gonna need $5 billion for me, for everyone I know, and everyone who looks like me. Actually, make that $50 billion.
So yeah, first thing I’d say is: “Has the check cleared yet?” Then: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life!”
What’s a conspiracy theory so wild you wish it were true?
I wish the rumor that the kid from The Wonder Years—the friend of the main kid—was actually Marilyn Manson was true. It was Paul from The Wonder Years. Before the internet, we believed it was true… but sadly, no.
Without Googling: What’s the name of the dog in Tom & Jerry?
That’s a funny question. I don’t have to Google it. There are two names: sometimes it’s Butch, sometimes it’s Spike. In the earlier episodes, it was Butch. But most commonly, it’s Spike. Wait… why are you asking this??
What was Leonardo DiCaprio’s character’s name in Titanic? And do you still think there was room for him on that door?
Jack. And yes, there was room for him on that door! That’s the real conspiracy theory. There was plenty of room. I don’t know if you know this, but James Cameron isn’t exactly the best filmmaker. Makes tons of money… but not the best filmmaker.
If it weren’t dangerous, what would you try that you currently avoid?
I’m not really a thrill-seeker. Despite my reputation on TV, I’d rather be at home on the couch. I think about those people who jump off cliffs… and I’m like, nah. Dying in a dumb way is one of the worst ways to go. Like, imagine my kids asking how I died: “Well… he decided to go bungee jumping.” Haha. That’d be a dumb way to die. But yeah, I might give it a shot if it weren’t dangerous.
What law would you pass if you were Supreme Ruler of Earth for one day?
It’s illegal to be a billionaire in a world where anybody still needs food or a place to live.
If Jeff Bezos offered to send you to space for free, would you go—or, after officiating his wedding, would you suspect foul play?
Yeah, no. I’m not going to space with Jeff Bezos. I’m not going to dinner with Jeff Bezos. I’m not in the Jeff Bezos scene in any way.
W. Kamau Bell at The Carolina Theatre
This Sat, Jul 12 at 7pm
Buy your tickets here
